Meeting Mechanics - Dismas Fellowship Network

A Welcoming Environment

Most people feel some discomfort when they enter a new environment. Imagine the additional anxiety that might be experienced by someone who has recently been released from prison, perhaps not really knowing what Dismas is all about. It is therefore, quite important to establish a welcoming atmosphere the moment someone walks through the door. They need to feel at ease.

How can this be done? Be sure that there is a friendly person to welcome the individual. Don’t overdo it! A newcomer will not likely enjoy being stampeded by a bunch of people he/she has never met! A smile and some basic directions are sufficient, while registering the newcomer to the meeting.

A welcoming environment is one that is secure. So there are some basics that are necessary to ensuring that people feel welcomed and safe.

When an individual walks in, it must be ascertained that they are the right person in the right place.
Simple questions like “What brings you to us this evening?” or “Do you know anybody in our fellowship?” or “Do you know much about Dismas Fellowship?” will help the greeter to discern whether the person is actually there for the right reasons. If they seem at all perplexed, it is best to tell them that this is a support group for people who have been incarcerated.

Everyone that enters the area of fellowship should be given a name tag (for first name only.) This helps people to get to know one another better and faster. Some groups actually have a membership process so that once you are registered as a Dismas Member, you have a permanent card. It is a good idea to have someone keep attendance for stats and follow up on those who miss several meetings.

It is crucial that Dismas leaders know some basic information about those attending. For instance, in all of our groups, anyone attending must be 18 or older. This rule can actually prevent some members with age related restrictions from being breached. If someone appears to be drunk or under the influence of narcotics, it should be reported immediately to one of the key leaders. If it appears that someone has ulterior motives (I.e. vendetta, looking for handouts etc) it should also be reported immediately to a group leader.

In the event of any kind of altercation between attendees, depending on the level of severity, leaders should not hesitate to call authorities. Jumping in the middle of a potentially dangerous conflict is not a good idea unless the Dismas leader has had training in crisis intervention. (By the way, it is a good idea that at least one or two leaders have some crisis intervention and/or conflict resolution training.

Setting Up & Taking Down

One of the key values of Dismas Fellowship states “We are committed to being a safe and responsible fellowship with accountability to the church where our meetings are held.” Among other things, this means that the property of the church or facility should be treated with utmost care and respect. One church has remarked about the Dismas group that meets in their building, “They always leave it cleaner than it was!” This is a good testimony for Dismas!

You’ve heard the expression, “Many hands make light work.” That is definitely true at Dismas gatherings. Be sure that you have a crew available to come a bit early to do set up. The kitchen crew, if preparing the meal on the premises may have to come hours ahead of time. And just as you enroll people to help set up, be sure to enlist volunteers to clean up and put everything back as it was. A clean and organized meeting place will ensure longevity and foster growth.

Cooking/Serving The Meal

There is something about a meal that draws people together. Many of the ex inmates in our communities don’t get to enjoy good home cooked meals very often, so for them, it is a special treat to look forward to. Meals should be planned well, with good variety and plenty of food. Stay away from overly spicy foods (you can always have hot sauces available) and stick with the standards of “meat, starch and vegetable.” And of course, few people will say no to a tasty dessert.

The last thing any Dismas gathering wants is for people to become ill as a result of the food!
Therefore it is imperative that food preparation guidelines be followed closely. It is a wise idea to have some of the regular cooks or servers get basic food preparation certification so that they can oversee the quality of the food being prepared (the local Dismas group should cover the expense of this training.) Basic food preparation safety steps such as the wearing of hair nets, gloves and perhaps masks should be employed.

The Dismas leadership needs to be careful in determining who is allowed to cook or prepare food for the group. Well meaning members might volunteer to cook at home and bring their food into the meeting – which could spell disaster. Sometimes people who are unskilled want to prepare a meal out of gratitude to the group. Use such as kitchen help until they are adequately trained to cook good, wholesome meals. It is also a good idea to have volunteer professionals come in and give lessons on meal preparation, food budgeting etc.

Several of our Dismas fellowships have church and community groups who come in to prepare foods.
Sometimes they even donate the cost of the meal, which is very helpful. But it is still the responsibility of the Dismas leadership to ensure that food preparation and service regulations are being kept. And it is also important to establish a clear understanding with any outside group as to the nature of Dismas, and that some in attendance have committed criminal offences. As well, no one under the age of 18 should be permitted to come in as a server.

Gathering At The Tables

The gathering at the tables for the meal is one of the most meaningful opportunities for engagement in an evening at Dismas. At the tables, friendships are formed and relationships strengthened.

Before the meal starts someone should welcome everyone and once again give a brief explanation about how the meal will be served as well as what will happen for the remainder of the evening (quick overview of what the Circle Time is about.) The idea is to put everyone at ease so that they will enjoy their time of dining.

Then the selected host, or some other person should say a short prayer of thanks for the meal. The prayer should be short, sweet and to the point!

Some Dismas groups like to give out discussion primers or theme related trivia/games to help the conversation at the tables. This is good, but should not feel forced. When people eat together, they naturally begin to open up. In preparation for the coming Circle Time, someone may want to hand out copies of the reflection topic and question so people can feel more prepared as the evening moves along.

When the meal is over, to make things move along faster, it is a good idea to ask for someone from each table to help load or carry the dishes to the kitchen. Perhaps someone else can wash the table down. Making the meal a communal effort will get you to the reflection circle more quickly and will avoid burn out of volunteers. Have a rotation schedule for the kitchen and clean-up crews so that the load is not too much for individuals.

Circle Gathering

Once the meal is over, invite everyone to join in the Circle Time. Not everyone will, but invite them all, nonetheless. If you have prepared them for what to expect and alleviate any fears of public speaking by telling them that there is no obligation, the majority will want to sit in the circle.

Dismas Fellowship Network offers a songbook that can be found on our website. Other songs may be used as well. The style and type of songs used should reflect what most community members would enjoy. Songs can be Christian hymns or worship songs, but they don’t have to. However, songs that are used in Dismas ought to resonate some message of hope or restoration. Songs that have provocative or suggestive lyrics should never be used. It is a good idea to have a committee to take a look at all the songs that your local group would like to sing. And then, remember that a lot of songs are copy written, so you may require a license to use them.

Early in the meeting, someone needs to share the Dismas Values. These are absolutely essential to our gatherings. They should be read in every single meeting as a reminder of the principles by which we come together. In fact, everything that is done in a Dismas meeting, including the spiritual reflection, should conform to our Dismas Values (they are easily found on our website, brochures and other literature.)

The Spiritual Reflection

Perhaps the highlight of the Circle Time is the “Spiritual Reflection.” This is the brief telling or reading of a story, poem or illustration that goes along with themes that are important to our community.

The person who delivers the reflection story needs to be prepared – no “off the cuff” stuff! It needs to be brief but thought provoking. It can be from a Christian perspective, or even from the Bible, but it should not be “preachy.” The purpose of reflections is to cause people to “reflect.” That means that the person sharing does not have an agenda, and is more or less a facilitator. At the end of the reflection story, a question for reflection is asked. The question needs to be clear and easy to understand.

More information on how to write and share a reflection is available on this website, along with a library of various spiritual reflections that can be used anytime.

Once the reflection question has been posed and everyone is told that they are “free to speak or to pass” then the time of sharing begins. If the group is a large one, the moderator may request that everyone be brief in their sharing for the sake of time. Some of the larger groups divide into smaller groups so that everyone can have an opportunity to share.

It is also a good idea to stress some basic rules to the participants. Rules such as…
--Listen quietly as each person speaks.
--No cross talking, correcting or arguing.
--No speaking out of turn
--No preaching or trying to set others straight
--Each person shares their own story for “each story is sacred.”

Communal prayer is a good way of reminding one another of our needs and concerns. Select someone who is experienced in public prayers and also knows how to structure the time so that it doesn’t become tedious. Everyone should have an opportunity to share their concerns. In the prayer, one does not need to mention each item separately but may form the prayer as a conclusion to all that has been said.

Wrapping Up

After the Circle and some goodbyes, it is time to leave. It is time to leave the place just as we found it, clean and orderly.

In some cases, transportation issues will need to be sorted out. Volunteers who drive other members back to their residences should follow protocols set out under insurance and legal obligations.
It is always best to have drivers cleared ahead of time to pick up or take home community members.

Be sure that the stoves are turned off. Check all doors and windows when leaving. Set any alarms as arranged by your host church.

And voila! You have just had another successful evening at Dismas Fellowship!